


Illusions

by kiyala



Category: Show By Rock!! - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 01:17:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8690875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiyala/pseuds/kiyala
Summary: Shuuzo intends to leave without a backwards glance after their last concert. Rom doesn't make it that easy for him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So the [Amatelast URs](http://amulet-tanaka.tumblr.com/post/153815131868/amatelast-urs) got released and I immediately had to write about them.

It rains on the night that Shuu dies. 

No. That's a touch too dramatic, even for Shuuzo's tastes. The new addition to his name feels clumsy even as he thinks it, but it's part of his contract with his new record label. The _zo_ has felt uncomfortable on his tongue every time he's practiced it; a vibration between his teeth and tongue that invariably ends in a tremor that runs down the length of his spine. They're going to rebrand him entirely, to scrub away his past. Nothing behind him matters any more. It all amounts to nothing more than necessary sacrifices that he's had to make to get himself onto the path that he's on now. His old band doesn't need to know how long he's had this in the works, or that he's already been signed on with another label. 

They don't need to know any of the details, beyond the fact that what they had is now over, and he doesn't have anything more to say them either. He's already made his position clear and prolonging this is only going to make things worse than they already are.

He steps out out one of the side doors and into the rainy night, avoiding the dressing room entirely. He doesn't need to pick up his belongings, or his guitar. They're nothing but relics now, tying him to a life that he's no longer living. _Shuu of Amatelast_ is someone who will soon fade from everyone's memories. There's no use to clinging to that person. Given time, nobody else will want to either. 

"Shuu!"

His steps falter, but he doesn't look back. Behind him, he can hear Rom panting. He must have been running. He probably realised that Shuuzo was planning on leaving without facing them again. He's always been good at anticipating Shuuzo.

Almost always. 

"What the hell are you doing?" Rom yells. "Are you just going to walk away like this?"

"There's nothing more to say," Shuuzo replies. The rain is drenching his coat, making it weigh heavily on his shoulders. "You should have known, Rom. Every word I sang into my microphone was for you. _Cadenza_ was just that. The band stops. I continue." 

"Bastard," Rom growls out, but his voice is too thin, covering his pain too poorly to be convincing. His grip is still firm, when his hand lands on Shuuzo's shoulder, turning him around. "At least look at me if you're going to leave me. No. You're not going anywhere. I'm not going to let you. Don't you remember our promise? We were going to make it to the top together. Not like this."

Shuuzo shakes his head. "It's too late for that, Rom. You can't change what's happening. Everything was set in motion long ago." 

Rom's eyes narrow, his grip tightening on the lapels of Shuuzo's coat. "You were planning this all along, weren't you? Did you ever mean anything you said to me? Any of the promises you ever made?"

It isn't half as bad as Rom makes it out to be. This hasn't been his ultimate plan at all, but Shuuzo has never been the sort of person to let an opportunity pass him by. No matter how high the cost, he'll pay it if he thinks that it will be worth it.

Telling that to Rom won't change anything. It won't make him hurt any less. He won't forgive Shuuzo either way. 

So Shuuzo does what's easier for both of them. He lets his lips curve into the most insincere smile he's ever given Rom in his entire life. He lets Rom come to his own conclusions. 

Rom inhales sharply, like he's been physically hurt. He lets go of Shuuzo's coat and takes a step back. "I can't believe you."

Around them, the rain falls even harder. Good, Shuuzo thinks. Let it wash all of this away. 

"I don't care what you tell the others," Shuuzo speaks up, loud enough that his voice carries across the small distance between them, already feeling like a chasm. "I'm not returning. The band was never going to continue anyway. It shouldn't matter where I go from here." 

"Bullshit!" Rom balls his hands into fists at his sides. His tail lashes from side to side with agitation and Shuuzo can see the way he's trembling. "I don't care if the band's over. I thought that we would… that we'd…"

He doesn't finish, turning away from Shuuzo for a moment. He exhales shakily, blinking, and Shuuzo's heart misses a beat as he realises that it's not rain rolling down Rom's cheek. 

"Rom—"

"Shut up," Rom replies. He doesn't wipe his face. He doesn't even acknowledge the tears, even when they fall harder. He clears his throat, until the tremble in his voice is gone. "I trusted you, Shuu. The whole band did—we were _family_ —but I…"

"It doesn't matter," Shuuzo says, in an effort to forestall what he dreads is coming next. He doesn't think he'll be able to deal with it.

" _It fucking matters_ ," Rom shouts, and at least anger is a better look on his face than heartbreak. "All of this matters and I don't care if you're going to pretend that it doesn't, because it's not for you to decide. It's going to matter to me. It's going to matter to the guys. You can leave us, you can leave me, you can pretend that you don't know us at all, starting tomorrow. It's not going to change a thing in the world to me. What we had still matters. I was in love with you, Shuu. I'm probably _going_ to be in love with you while you pretend like none of this ever happened." 

Shuuzo takes a step backwards, exhaling shakily. "Rom—" 

"Don't look so surprised, Shuu," Rom says, stepping towards him. "Don't act like this is the first time you've heard it. As if you didn't know all this time, while you were making your plans. Did you even mean it any of the times you said it back to me?" 

"Rom, don't." Shuuzo shakes his head, but Rom just stands there in front of him, frowning at him. 

"What are you doing, Shuu?" Rom asks, so gently that Shuuzo isn't prepared for it. 

His defences crumble, his indifferent mask slipping. He can feel his eyes stinging too, and freezes up as Rom reaches for his face. Rom sighs, brushing Shuuzo's hair out of his eyes, then steps back. When Shuuzo blinks, he feels the warm trails of tears down his cheeks.

He's allowed one moment of weakness. Tomorrow, he'll be Shuuzo entirely. None of this counts. 

"I've already made my decision," he tells Rom firmly. "You can't change any of this. It's too late. Don't waste your time trying." 

"I've known you since we were in _high school_ , Shuu. You're not this person." 

Shuuzo gives Rom another fake smile. He's getting better at them. "So sorry to disappoint."

" _Shuu_."

"This is goodbye, Rom. You deserve at least that much." Shuuzo steps closer, leaning into Rom's space. 

"No." Rom stops him with a hand on his chest. "You don't get to do that to me. Like you said, its too late."

Shuuzo freezes up, watching as Rom steps backwards with a frown. 

"If I didn't love you so much, I think I'd hate you right now," Rom murmurs. "I'll give it some time."

"Rom, I—"

"You're not sorry," Rom interrupts. "You don't regret this. I don't want to hear it, Shuu."

Taking a deep breath, Shuuzo pulls himself together again, his mask fixed firmly back into place. He doesn't have the chance to show it to Rom, who is already leaving. Shuuzo stands there, watching him walk away, and tells himself that he's only trembling because it's cold. 

"It's Shuuzo now," he says, too quietly for Rom to hear. 

It doesn't matter. He'll hear the name around soon enough. 

Everyone will.


End file.
